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“We navigate our whole lives using words. Change and improve the words and I believe we can change and improve life.”
I find it disturbing how many people walk through life without a second thought as to the effect they have. No, let me rephrase that. It is absolutely horrifying how many selfish fucks breathe the same air as me. A lot of us have to deal with people such as these, though if you are one it is incredibly doubtful you are aware of it. In fact, if you are thinking, furiously, what utter bullshit this is - take a look in the fucking mirror. Then, then get back to me.
I, as an eighteen year old girl, wouldn’t dare to claim selflessness. I’m fully in contact with my wants and needs and the lengths I’ll go to get them. But the difference between selfish and self aware is pretty simple. Feelings. I’m not kidding. How you feel determines how the hell you are going to come off. So let’s, for somebody’s sake, divide this off into categories.
I’ll begin with the instigators, the ones that helped me begin this rant. Their selfishness is defined by the thoughtlessness of their actions. It is not that they go about their lives without a second thought as to anything. But specifically, for certain people (and in this case, yes - me), they just throw whatever the fuck they can and think no further than how it will help achieve their goal. Their dream, idea, notion, whatever the fuck you want to wrongfully name it. It’s not so much what these people ask or what they do - it’s just the fact that behind it all…they don’t care at all. And you know what sucks? These are the people, and there are several of you, I would do fucking anything for. I would die for. The people who, even at the end of a very angry day like today, I love.
Oh, god. She’s so…she’s so freaking dramatic. I mean, her life isn’t even that bad. And she flips out over the smallest things. People aren’t perfect. You don’t always get what you want. It’s just the way it is.
Get a little more creative. Think up something new, I fucking dare you. That’s a lot of what’s wrong with people, nobody can get a solid thought to themselves. Manufactured thinking, if you will. You’re all guilty. I’m occasionally guilty but I try my best not to be. I try my absolute best.
Anyway, it’s funny how semi-selfish people can be. I am aware of the smallest details of the way people act and their intentions. I rarely let on, but I can usually basically predict what people will do or say. Almost everyone I know. Makes for a pretty boring conversation, I know. Which is why half the time I talk to people I’m on autopilot. I can hardly remember encounters five minutes after they occur. But when people do something wrong, it becomes apparent and crystal clear. When the intentions seem shady, they usually are.
So there are the sneakily selfish, the ones that most would call fakes. Everything they do is for them, though they would absolutely adore you if you believed otherwise. They fight for one title and that title screams perfection. But every step taken towards their goal is bad. They’ll step on a million people to get where they are going.
You know what? Forget this. I’ll tell you the best story. And maybe you’ll think about this a little bit harder.
Once upon a time there was a girl. She grew up. She went through crap and she survived. She tried her hardest to get through to the people she loved. But to no avail, she finally gave up completely. On everyone, even those who might not have given up on her yet. So one day, she left. She never came home. And she lived happily ever after.
Stupid, right? But see, if things don’t start changing - that story will come true. I’m making sure of it.
Goodbye.
